(Click or Mouse-over to hear the SIT-tone) No More Telemarketers! -- Your Answering Machine Gets you off their list

A Telephone Geek Bearing Gifts -- Greg Molenaar 

Record these three musical notes (play this WAV file) as the very first part of your telephone answering machine's message, and the telemarketer's automatic dialer will mark your number as 'out of service'.  You will be off their list for several weeks !!! 

I'm a computer geek and website hacker working for (an un-named telecomm supply company).  There is something called Special Information Tones  which the phone company plays to identify a non-working number.  They are played  just before a voice recording says, "...the number you have dialed is no longer in service..."  I used to get a dozen calls a day from telemarketers.  Within a week of playing these notes on my answering machine message, I get none!

When automatic dialer hears the first tone, it hangs up and takes your phone number off their list. 

Some Auto-Dialers have become smarter, and listen for the second tone, because there is a commercial product you can buy for about $50 that uses just one tone to spoof them.  I have included all three tones for your enjoyment.  "Beep--Beep... Hi, this is Greg, please leave a message...

Remember, the tones must be recorded first, before your outgoing message.   You can also get these tones if you dial a long-distance number without dialing the (1-dash... preface).  Handy if you want to play back into your answering machine, but the volume may not be loud enough. 

        ...You did not ask yet, but the frequencies and durations for the 3 "No Circuit" tones are:










No Circuit Found







If a telemarketer does break through this defense, I begin a quiz asking why they are masking their identity on my CALLER ID information. -- I also have one of those HUGE Caller ID Displays that you can see across the room, 20-feet away, even at night, which you can get from http://www.PmMarketing.com <--Click here to see it.

--- "After all, in these days of high-crime, we want to know who's on the phone, or who is 'checking' to see if you are home."  If the caller displays "UNAVAILABLE", they must be trying to hide something, right? -- Since they understand that, I suggest to him or her that they bring that thought to their management and call me back when it has been corrected.  I like to interrupt their train of thought.  Make sure they agree. If they still persist, there is a third line of defense: 

          OOOHHHH!!!! LOVE THESE "IDEAS" ----- Three Little Words:  "Please hold on".

I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home during dinner hour. But that doesn't make it any more pleasant. 

Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed "Three Little Words" based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time. The three little words are "Hold On, Please." Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. This might be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

IDEAS FOR JUNK MAILERS: When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment.  Let those companies throw 'em away. When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right?

Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes!  Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send the pizza coupon to Citibank.

If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back!  If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can send it back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing!

Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their junk back in the mail. Let them know what it's like to get junk mail, and the best of it is that they're paying for it! Twice!

Help keep our postal service busy, since they claim e-mail is cutting into their business, and that's why they need to increase postage again!  Send this to a friend or two... or three...or fifty....

 -- Email comments to... no no, don't do that... send your appreciation in the form of a $5 check made out to 

Greg Molenaar
     PO Box 411
     New London, MN 56273

For the first 100,327 responders with a self-addressed stamped #10 envelope, I will respond with a neat 4-inch by 7-inch US Flag magnet to stick on your car, refrigerator, or file cabinet.   Don't forget the check.  

Greg Molenaar, 7405 Long Lake Road, Willmar, MN 56201 USA

Those huge Caller ID's are available at http://www.PmMarketing.com -- With normal vision you can see it across the room, 20-feet away, even in the dark.  It displays the time too, when it is not showing the incoming calls.  A great holiday gift.  Some people get 2 or 3 at a time.  Saves on shipping that way too. 

# # # --
This file is --